2 boys and a girl

So, “Sophie” asked me this, “hey ginger.  I am up for a promotion against two fairly connected guys.  How do I stand out?”

Before I answer this question, I would like to point out that I like men.  A lot.  I work extremely well with men- my two business partners are both men.  I find that collaboration with men can be professionally rewarding.  I am sure we work well together because they both know who is really in charge (wink).

Unfortunately, not all of my collaborations with men have been quite so grand.  Excuse me for being cynical, but after spending a lot of time in male dominated organizations where I was left behind while the men had business meetings at strip clubs, I have a little experience.  I even tried to join one particular boss & crew at the strip club and he made it very clear I was not included.  So, how do you compete?  Well, I wish I could say men & women were on the same playing field but that just isn’t the case.  Men often have a leg ahead.  I hate to say that, but it is true and studies back me up.

I read a research report (from economists at Duke, UCSD & UC Boulder) where it was found men outperform women 72% of the time in head to head competition with a woman.  Controlling for ability using past performance explained only 27% of the difference, while the bulk of the difference seems to be explained by gender.  The study suggests 1) that competing against women increases male performance, 2) that the higher the proportion of women among competition, the better men perform.  The report concludes that a big reason for the differences in pay and promotion in the workplace may be because women do not perform as well in competitive situations as men do when put up against a woman.

What is up with that ladies? 53% of the time, women with greater ability lost out in competition with men because men step up their game.  Who says men have performance issues?  Clearly most men don’t in the workplace.

So, how does a woman even out the playing field?  (The researched part of this post ends in 5…4…3…2…1

You have to step it up.  No more Mrs. Nice Guy.  The research above says we aren’t competing hard enough. Is it our maternal instincts? Are we afraid of appearing like a bitch?  Do we lack self-confidence and think that are skill sets are not up to par, even if they are?  Maybe all of those times being left behind while the men go to the strip clubs makes us feel less worthy.  I don’t know, but it needs to stop.  If you are up against a man, you can’t be equal.  You have to be better or your chances of getting that promotion aren’t good.

Outsmart them.  You have the knowledge and the skills.  No holds barred.  Prepare.  Over prepare.  And prepare again.  If the studies are correct and we aren’t winning in a majority of cases when we are stronger because we just don’t compete hard enough, THAT can be changed.