Am I a Cougar……..cub?

Photo courtesy of Harlequeen on Flickr

Did you happen to see the article on the front page of the San Francisco Chronicle about the first annual women Cougar Convention?  And what’s up with Courtney Cox’s new TV show “Cougar Town”?  I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out what bothers me about the “cougar” trend.  When I was married I was so happy that I was not single because I had such a fear of being out in the dating scene as an “older” woman.  I’m ashamed to admit that I saw single women of my age and older as desperate.  Well, well, well, here I am now – newly single and scared to death.  I wonder if people will look at me and think I am a “cougar” or constantly on the prowl?

Chloe reminded me of a story I once told her…I attended a fundraiser where a significantly older woman and her collegiate looking “escort” (so the rumors went) were sitting across the table from me.  They were completely enthralled with each other (if you know what I mean) and oblivious to the world around them.  I am embarrassed to say that I couldn’t take my eyes off of them (where was I supposed to look?).  Here was this older woman out with a gorgeous younger man,  having the time of her life (at least she looked like it from my vantage point).  I was completely jealous.

If a woman is out with a younger man is she considered a cougar?  I don’t think so.  I think “cougar” is a derogatory term that invokes visions of a tramp in a tight dress who will sleep with anything that moves (sorry, but I’m discerning). Just because a woman is out having fun with a younger man does not mean she is a cougar.  It means she wants to have a good time with a younger man and doesn’t care what people think.  Why is it  socially acceptable for a man to be seen with a young female and instead of being criticized he is given a high five?  Hmm, so much for equality between the sexes.

I often wonder how men view the new “cougar” movement.  Surely memories of “American Pie”, Harold and Maude, or the overtly seductive Mrs. Robinson fill their minds ( I think Harold and Maude is pushing it a bit but we all have our thing).  Chloe’s husband likes the “cougar” concept.   He thinks the term represents a  sexy, confident woman (which is good because that’s exactly what he’s got).  After all, what’s more intriguing than a woman with confidence?

I am not a cougar (nor do I aspire to be one) and I am most certainly not on the prowl.  I am, however, a strong, sexy, confident woman who knows exactly what she wants and is no longer afraid to go get it.  So what if I’m particularly fond of the High School Musical movies…the choreography is excellent.