Ginger Knows | Ginger Knows

Holiday gift giving during a recession

estelleknows — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 23:12:57 +0000

Photo courtesy of japi14 on Flickr

Here it is once again -Toys R Us has sent out it’s 2009 Toy Book officially heralding the Holiday season. You might be wondering how to fulfill those wish lists when your credit cards are already reaching their limits. Well, I have a few ideas that might make the gift giving season a little easier on the bank account.

First of all I recommend eliminating obligatory gift giving. There may be those whom you tend to exchange gifts with merely because you always have. If you rarely communicate with these individuals it might be time to re-evaluate your gift giving traditions. It is relatively painless to make a phone call or write a letter which suggests exchanging holiday cards and photos in lieu of presents. Chances are your recipients will applaud your ingenuity and gratefully jump at the chance to shave off a few layers of their own lists.

Once you have gotten your list to a manageable level it’s time to come up with a budget. I think we all start off with the best intentions when it comes to holiday shopping but somehow lose our way. The hefty accumulation of receipts tends to go unnoticed until the decorations come down and the credit card bills arrive. By planning ahead you can welcome the new year with ease and curtail the seasonal blues that often accompany overspending.

Adhering to a budget may prove exceedingly difficult this time of year with the lure of the bargain and the enticement of the sale. Retail establishments use their creative marketing strategies to draw us in and keep us shopping. When the mailbox is cluttered with catalogs I suggest taking them straight to the recycling can. Catalogs are just added temptation for things that we didn’t know we wanted in the first place. Perhaps you are one who would benefit from shopping from home. I prefer online shopping because I can Google exactly what I want with less visual temptation from other sources. Chloe, however, feels that the internet can be just as dangerous, if not more so. The key to successfully adhering to any budget is demonstrating some serious yet much needed self control.

You don’t need much restraint if you decide to make your holiday gifts rather than venture into the stores. I realize that there is a relatively small amount of the population willing to put the time or effort into homemade gifts but it is an option. There are many online tutorials available, many with step-by-step instructions and photos, that will aide you in the completion of your project. I have recently been educated in the art of tutu design and plan on making some super cute tutus for a few lucky little girls and there is no sewing required!

If homemade gifts are truly not your thing and you want to stay within budget without compromising on the gift then I suggest combining resources with others. Instead of spending a little to get that finicky adolescent in the family something that they didn’t want in the first place, you can get a group together to buy that I Pod or $100 jacket from Abercrombie. I think this is a great solution to the overinflated Holiday list; a win win situation for everyone involved.

Welcome the holidays and do not let the financial aspect overshadow what the season is truly all about. Your contribution of love and friendship should heavily outweigh any monetary gift and is ultimately more valuable.

Survival of the Fittest

estelleknows — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 15:30:28 +0000

The “survival of the fittest” is a term we’ve all heard often enough.It has been used many times and in many different contexts. But what does it mean to us on a daily basis when life is just not going our way? The ability to survive into today’s world takes a lot of guts and quite a bit of courage. The unemployment rate is slowly creeping upwards, the housing market is at a stand-still, and the divorce rate is skyrocketing. People are scared and nervous about the future.

It’s OK to be frightened; we’re human. It’s a tough time for all of us. Unfortunately it means that we will have to work harder to achieve success. Job hunting now requires some serious work. We are forced to step out of our safety zone and become more pro-active. If we want that paycheck we are just going to have to get creative and explore our hidden talents. Hey, we might even be able to add that to our resumes.

It’s amazing how hard we’ll fight for what we truly want. If your marriage is struggling for survival but you’re not ready to give up then don’t. Try going to counseling or opening the doors of communication. People are under tremendous stress and anxiety; that is enough to put a strain on the most solid of relationships, friendships included. It’s amazing how nice it is to have a shoulder to cry on.

The future may look like a tornado on the horizon but that doesn’t mean we need to run to a shelter and hide. Everyone has that special place or need which fills the gaps and makes the hard stuff not so bad. I know that if I go to the beach I will feel better. I know that being near the ocean and feeling the ebb and flow of nature will put a smile on my face.I know that I can escape in a great book.I am a reader and I believe in the healing power of the imagination; what a wonderful escape!Everyone is different and everyone has that one thing that will make everything ok. Do you love art? Go to a museum and just sit. Do you love to run? Make that time and run. Go out when the sun is peeking up and the air is crisp and clean, take it in and feel it, claim it and don’t give up. Surround yourself with happiness and amazingly it will creep into those holes and fill them. Life’s problems may still be there but you’ll have fulfillment deep inside.

We’ve got to hang on; we’ve got to survive. We can’t let the bad stuff win.

October: Domestic Violence Awareness Month

estelleknows — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 15:25:29 +0000

Photo courtesy of Kelpman on Flickr

October is Domestic Violence Awareness month. It is a time to give support to those who have survived abuse and mourn the loss of those who did not. It is a time to recognize the individuals who offer hope and support and to become advocates ourselves. Sometimes help is the only option. Sometimes you just can’t do it on your own.

Domestic Violence used to be thought of as the physical abuse that one spouse inflicts on the other. Today we know that violence occurs in many forms. Abuse can be psychological, emotional, financial, physical or a combination of any these. It is one person exerting their control over the other or preventing them from maturing or succeeding as an individual. It is one spouse keeping the other spouse down.

Psychological abuse involves lies and mind games. The victim might be told that he/she is crazy or imagining things. The abuse could be emotional. There might be lying and manipulation of the victim’s feelings. Financial abuse involves one spouse denying the other access to money or financial independence. All of these are silent crimes which happen behind closed doors; the physical ones are a bit more obvious. The home is no place for this type of oppression.

There are many resources in place to aid the victims and provide them with alternatives. Often times the victims have been excluded from society with little communication with family or friends. They have no access to money and feel dependent on the abuser for support. The situation might seem hopeless but there is help. There are services in place to end the cycle of abuse and transition into a new life.

Information about Domestic Violence Awareness month can be found at Domestic Violence Awareness Project and the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. You can also check the computer for listings of resources available in your area.

If you know of an individual who is the victim of domestic violence let them know that they are not alone. Let them know that when they are ready to leave that you will be there every step of the way. Just because domestic abuse happens behind closed doors does not mean that it has to stay there.

A nip and tuck here, a lift and suck there?

estelleknows — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 17:56:14 +0000

Plastic surgery is pretty common today. There’s a good chance that you know someone who has had some body part “done”. A nip and tuck here, a lift and suck there. At one time only celebrities went under the knife. They took off on a little vacation, perhaps a nice little jaunt to a secluded spa or retreat, only to return invigorated and refreshed… looking years younger, much thinner, and boobs perkier. Today it has become so commonplace that 18 year olds are receiving boob jobs for graduation presents. I even recall one trip to the topless pool at Caesars Palace in Vegas. Two young women were eagerly flaunting the still fleshy pink scars below their breasts to a group of highly curious admirers. Uhm…yuck!

Cosmetic procedures have become mainstream but nonetheless still controversial. How many times have you commented on a woman’s overly inflated chest or her Joker mask of a face? I believe there is a stigma still attached to the words “boob job” “face lift” and “tummy tuck” and we initially think less of a person because they’ve had “work done”. Women have the right to make informed decisions about their bodies regardless of what other people think; we should respect their decision and not criticize them for it.

Voluntarily going under the knife is not a decision to be taken lightly. Cosmetic surgery is a major procedure and there’s always a chance of complications. A very petite friend of mine debated for years about whether or not to get a breast augmentation. When we’d go to the mall she would always refuse to go into Victoria’s Secret or any other lingerie store because she was embarrassed that she couldn’t fit into any of their bras. She ended up going against the wishes of her husband (who thought she looked great the way she was) and having the procedure. A few hours after she got home she noticed significant swelling in one of her breasts. She was bleeding internally and they had to do emergency surgery to stop it. She ended up being ok (apparently with the exception of two noticeably mismatched scars) but she put us through a real scare. This didn’t happen to a stripper who wanted to go up a size from her D’s (which would have been totally uncool as well). This was a wife and mother of two who only wanted to shop in Victoria’s Secret.

Women need to think hard about the reasons why they are considering surgery and decide if their reasoning is sound. Physical beauty is highly relative and one should never, under any circumstances, alter their physical appearance in order to please someone else (just ask those people who’ve had to remove their former lover’s name from their chest). It’s a nice idea to get some input from friends, a spouse, or significant other, but ultimately it is a decision for one person and one person only. Is it worth the risk? I don’t know…you tell me.

Am I a Cougar……..cub?

estelleknows — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 15:30:19 +0000

Photo courtesy of Harlequeen on Flickr

Did you happen to see the article on the front page of the San Francisco Chronicle about the first annual women Cougar Convention? And what’s up with Courtney Cox’s new TV show “Cougar Town”? I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out what bothers me about the “cougar” trend. When I was married I was so happy that I was not single because I had such a fear of being out in the dating scene as an “older” woman. I’m ashamed to admit that I saw single women of my age and older as desperate. Well, well, well, here I am now – newly single and scared to death. I wonder if people will look at me and think I am a “cougar” or constantly on the prowl?

Chloe reminded me of a story I once told her…I attended a fundraiser where a significantly older woman and her collegiate looking “escort” (so the rumors went) were sitting across the table from me. They were completely enthralled with each other (if you know what I mean) and oblivious to the world around them. I am embarrassed to say that I couldn’t take my eyes off of them (where was I supposed to look?). Here was this older woman out with a gorgeous younger man, having the time of her life (at least she looked like it from my vantage point). I was completely jealous.

If a woman is out with a younger man is she considered a cougar? I don’t think so. I think “cougar” is a derogatory term that invokes visions of a tramp in a tight dress who will sleep with anything that moves (sorry, but I’m discerning). Just because a woman is out having fun with a younger man does not mean she is a cougar. It means she wants to have a good time with a younger man and doesn’t care what people think. Why is it socially acceptable for a man to be seen with a young female and instead of being criticized he is given a high five? Hmm, so much for equality between the sexes.

I often wonder how men view the new “cougar” movement. Surely memories of “American Pie”, Harold and Maude, or the overtly seductive Mrs. Robinson fill their minds ( I think Harold and Maude is pushing it a bit but we all have our thing). Chloe’s husband likes the “cougar” concept. He thinks the term represents a sexy, confident woman (which is good because that’s exactly what he’s got). After all, what’s more intriguing than a woman with confidence?

I am not a cougar (nor do I aspire to be one) and I am most certainly not on the prowl. I am, however, a strong, sexy, confident woman who knows exactly what she wants and is no longer afraid to go get it. So what if I’m particularly fond of the High School Musical movies…the choreography is excellent.

Fiscally Responsible Fall Fashion

estelleknows — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 17:12:40 +0000

The fashion magazines have had their big, fat, juicy Fall issues out on the shelves recently previewing this season’s most highly desired clothing and accessories. I for one am loving the Grecian gowns by Bottega Veneta (I’ve always loved their shoes!) and have you seen the beautiful new Chanel ads? What about those super cool ankle boots from Tod’s (which would look great with tights and a mini) for the unbelievable price of only…..$765. Aren’t you excited? Well I think it is ridiculous. Who would pay that for a pair of boots? It is so frustrating… the new ads, the cool new clothes for Fall. Whatever is a fashion conscience girl to do?

A fashion magazine provides you with an abundance of knowledge on the upcoming trends and styles. Instead of crying because you can’t afford what you see on the pages of your favorite magazine, look at the pages and think of ways to use what you already have in your closet to mimic your favorite styles. Boots are definitely in for Fall and while I might not be able to afford that great pair oxford booties which I adore, I do own the essential wardrobe staple…the tall black boot. They might not be as exciting as the more trendy styles out right now but we have to work with what we’ve got and the classic black book will never go out of style.

With cold weather approaching tights are definitely the way to go. I am seeing more budget conscience magazines give advice on layering long sleeved tees under summer dresses with tights and boots (hey if you don’t have boots, flats will work just as well). Get creative, become inspired. I look through my magazines and think “hey, can I do that? I never would have thought of putting that shirt with that skirt but it looks good.” My daughter wants to become a fashion designer when she grows up and will come up with some of the most creative outfit combinations. I used to veto the outfit based on the wildly held fashion laws of combining colors and fabrics until she put them on. Her outfits looked great! Never underestimate the value of a possible outfit without trying it on first. It’s amazing how expressive you can get with your style and you might get a few praises as well.

If you do have a little extra cash laying around for your winter wardrobe stock up on those staples. While the magazines advise hitting J Crew (definitely a personal favorite) for the essential tights and tees, I advice going to Target or Old Navy. I would rather spend less on these necessities and instead be able to purchase the J Crew cashmere sweater instead (although that will not be happening any time soon either). I don’t think anyone likes to cut back, especially on clothes, but these days we need to work with what we’ve got. Don’t get depressed because the outfits you covet from the magazines are out of your price range. Mix it up and get real!

Since when is a $795 coat a steal?

estelleknows — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 19:50:35 +0000

I’m kind of tired of reading articles in fashion magazines talking about “fashion on a budget” when really there is no budget involved. Perhaps cutting back to two pairs of Louboutins instead of three or the smaller Chloe clutch as opposed to the Chanel lambskin tote is really cinching the belt to some privileged few, but seriously, do we need to read that? I have been an avid subscriber to fashion magazines for many many years (does anybody remember Sassy and Mademoiselle?) and lately have been tempted to just throw my magazine in the recycle bin rather than torture myself with all the goodies that I don’t have the money to buy. I can’t do it. I can’t throw it away. If you love fashion you know what I mean.

These magazines a perpetuating the idea that any fashion conscience woman will be able to identify and mimic the lifestyles of the wealthy few. I for one am incapable of competing with this logic. I cannot afford one pair of Manolo Blahnik’s (even on clearance) let alone copy the daily shopping habits (budget or not) of those displayed in the magazines. It makes me feel inferior about my own clothes, my job (or lack thereof), my hair and my overall person. That great feeling that I once had when I opened my new magazine is tinged with a sense of mediocrity within my own self. I find that I am depressed when I read that other women can still go out and shop enthusiastically while I have to avoid the mall at all costs.

These women may be living on a budget within their own highly unrealistic world but that is not real life. I think it is irresponsible of these magazines to flaunt the shopping habits of the rich and famous when most of us can barely scrounge up enough money to pay the house payment. Couldn’t magazines be sensitive to the needs of their readers and offer advice on how to dress stylishly on the average person’s budget? It’s frustrating when a magazine is advertising two different coats with one at $2,600 and the other at a steal of a price (you know for us financially challenged consumers) at $795. Can you afford $795 for a new fall coat? I certainly can’t and I’m willing to bet 95% of the popoulation agrees with me on this one. Fashion magazines may be up on all of the trends within the world of fashion, but wouldn’t it be nice for them to pay attention to what is happening to their readers financially and let that dictate how they present that material to their readers? Let’s get real.