Ginger KnowsAnything Goes | Ginger Knows

Blame it on the rain

gingerw — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 05:14:03 +0000

When things go wrong, we have a tendency to lay blame. They didn’t do x, y and z, therefore I couldn’t do….

I have to admit that I have been guilty at times of blaming others. Nobody likes to admit when they fail, even those with the best intentions. Blame is really, well.. lame.

We can’t always control our situation, but we can control our reactions. Two and a half years ago, I started divorce proceedings. I am not sure what life scenario involves more blame then that. It has been an interesting journey as I dealt with all of the emotions that are involved with the process. Believe me, there are many- blame, guilt, anger, sadness, regret to name just a few.

Blame is one of the worst because it doesn’t really help you face the true issue. Granted, there are some valid reasons for blame, but in many instances, people who blame others do so out of an inability to deal with their own issues and their own problems.

Of course, other peoples’ actions impact our daily lives, but at the end of it all, we are responsible for how we deal with the hand that is given. Sometimes, that hand sucks and we have to get creative. Sometimes that hand rocks, and we have to keep our egos in check and remember what really matters.

Blame is a wasted emotional activity. It will eat you up, spit you out and tear you down. Action and activity helps build you up.

If blame is a part of your life, blame it on the rain and move on.

(and if you are ready for a kick in the pants, read It’s Never Too Late..)

How Can We Help?

admin — Mon, 27 Dec 2010 01:15:27 +0000

Image by W on Flickr

I woke up recently to an email from a friend telling me about a loss in her life. It was the third such email or call in a week. They say things happen in threes, I sure hope that means we are done. Truth be told, these past few years have been tough on many people – from all cultures and classes.

What looks perfect on the outside rarely is. Along with the challenges in our lives, I have seen some pretty ugly behavior from people who appear to be clawing their way out and attempting to trample other people in the process. What a nasty game it can be and it makes my stomach want to hurl. At times, it makes me want to lose faith in the human spirit.

But as I read this email under the comfort of my blankets, my children joined me. I told them about the loss for my dear friend and their instant reaction was, “How can we help?”

This simple question reminded me that the human spirit is alive and kicking like a ninja. My children disappeared only to return later with a sandwich baggie filled with money and a beautiful letter to our friend. Their piggy banks aren’t flush, but they gathered what they could to help a friend. This isn’t isolated to the children.

Over the last year, I have seen countless examples of others experiencing their own tragedies yet when they hear of someone else suffering a loss, the instant question is “How can we help?”

When a call for help is put out, the community responds, often in a far greater way than is expected. People are digging into their pocketbooks, donating their time or their resources to help others.

Times are tough right now. We have a choice in how we deal with them. Tearing down others doesn’t help anyone but building up the communities we live in and participate in does.

It’s never too late

gingerw — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 16:38:58 +0000

“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.”
~Benjamin Button in a letter to his daughter in the movie, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

I saw this movie for the first time last year and I knew within a few minutes that I would be a blubbery, crying mess. What a powerful message Benjamin leaves- if you find you are not living a life you are proud of, have the strength to change it. We have a tendency to get stuck in our lives. Whether we are too comfortable, or we are afraid we will fail further. If you are unhappy but you stay in the same spot, aren’t you failing already?

Isn’t it worse to stay in one spot than to have tried your best and not reached what you had hoped? I see this day in and day out and it hurts my heart. People lashing out at others because they aren’t happy in their own lives. Friends wallowing in self-pity because they are miserable about their current situation but not taking steps to change it.

Change isn’t easy for anyone. Sometimes it is hard to just get up but I don’t believe it is ever too late. Sometimes you need to break it all and start again. But for most of us, massive change isn’t easy. We may have families we need to support and we definitely all have bills to pay. Make a plan for change and stick with it. Do it gradually if you need to but don’t let the shackles of your self-doubt keep you from doing what you really want to do, from being what you really want to be.

Dear Santa, my Grown Up Wish List

gingerw — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 02:45:05 +0000

Dear Santa

I haven’t written you a letter in a long time. My kids wrote their Santa letters to you tonight, and I thought I should too. I know you can’t make all my dreams come true, but I hope you take serious consideration of my list.

I wish for:

My kids health and safety. They have so much to offer. Let them have the chance to grow, create and change the world we live in. They will accomplish great things.
A cure for cancer. Enough said.
Good health for my friends and the rest of my family. For those that may leave us, I wish them safe travels and an easy journey.
I would like to wish for world peace, but I don’t believe it will ever happen. Instead, I would like to request world tolerance and understanding. A world without dissent is a world we probably don’t want to live in. I wish for good debate and dissent in a manner that doesn’t take people’s lives.
I wish for shelter and food for all of the world’s children.
I wish for no regrets.
I would really like a real vacation, but I would give it up for any of the above.

I know I am asking for a lot. In return, I promise to:

Seek out the greater good.
Do my best to give back.
Raise my children to be tolerant, to listen to other’s beliefs and to challenge their own.
Lead by example by being tolerant, listening to other’s beliefs, and to challenge my own.
Make lots of mistakes, but learn and grown from them.

Love,

Ginger

P.S. For those of you who are reading this and don’t believe in Santa, perhaps you might take a moment to believe in yourself and your power to change the world we live in. Eventually baby steps may lead to a marathon. You have to start somewhere. Make a change in 2010. You do have the power.

Thanks!

chloeknows — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 00:17:35 +0000

courtesy of CW8647 on Flickr

I will keep this short and sweet.

Thanks for -

My kids
My hubby
Estelle
Ginger
my family
new learning experiences
Mr. Putters
my awesome friends

Lucky, Grateful and Thankful

gingerw — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 17:49:04 +0000

I try to be thankful for what I have every day but it can be hard when you are in the middle of it all, paying bills, rushing to work, etc. I have had a couple of really yucky years to be quite honest. People often tell me how glamorous my life looks and I look at them like they are crazy. Oh yes, being a single mom living in the most expensive area in the country working in the most depressed industry around is glamorous. But anyway. THAT is another post.

I AM lucky, grateful and thankful. I have two of the most beautiful kids in the world. Not just physically although they are darn cute. Their bright smiles brighten my day. There is nothing better than hearing the words, “I love you mama.” Cherish all the tiny monumental moments with your children. They truly do make every day worth living.

I am so fortunate to have my parents, my grandmother and my sisters not only in my life, but all living in California less than 2 hours from me. Yes, I say sister(s). I adopted one this year (long story).

I am thankful that my dear friend with breast cancer is still here after a nearly 3 year battle from hell. I don’t talk to her nearly often enough but I sure think of her a lot. The strength that she has shown under conditions that are unreal is amazing. She is a true inspiration to me.

I have the most amazing friends. (You know who you are!) I could not have survived the last two years without them. I will admit there were days (or weeks) when I might have be temporarily crazy, weird, moody, cranky and yet they stood by me and supported me through the roller coaster of emotions. Maybe they are the crazy ones, but I love them for it.

Somehow I managed to find a fantastic boyfriend. He snuck up on me when I least expected him and has stuck by my side despite the chaos in my life. He makes me laugh, even when I don’t want him to. He is the calm in my storm.

I started a new business this last year. I like to think of it as family owned because my partners have become part of my extended family. Being a new business, we have all kinds of challenges, but we are lucky they are good ones. My partners challenge me, inspire me and support me. They are also exceptionally talented at providing comedic relief when needed.

I am thankful technology removes barriers of distance & enables me to keep in touch with my friends & family no matter where they are. Can you imagine not being able to have unlimited long distance? Not having skype or text messaging? No twitter? The horror of it all.

So no, my life isn’t really glamorous, but I sure am lucky.

Why dating sucks

gingerw — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 14:03:30 +0000

One of my friends is a serial dater. I won’t call her out here but she knows it. She actually enjoys dating. Meeting new people, going to dinner. Maybe I am not good at small talk. I have never liked “dating” for the sake of finding a companion. The awkward beginnings. The bad dinners where the guy spends the entire evening talking about themselves or checking out other women as they walk by.
This video made me fall down on the floor laughing. A huge hat tip to my business partner Hal Lublin for finding this, watching it with me, and providing live commentary. The viking guy kills me. So does the guy naming off the women he doesn’t want, “No fatties, no hamsters,…. no crazies.” Enjoy!

Dating Montage
by smithy00101

Which was your favorite?

Holiday gift giving during a recession

estelleknows — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 23:12:57 +0000

Photo courtesy of japi14 on Flickr

Here it is once again -Toys R Us has sent out it’s 2009 Toy Book officially heralding the Holiday season. You might be wondering how to fulfill those wish lists when your credit cards are already reaching their limits. Well, I have a few ideas that might make the gift giving season a little easier on the bank account.

First of all I recommend eliminating obligatory gift giving. There may be those whom you tend to exchange gifts with merely because you always have. If you rarely communicate with these individuals it might be time to re-evaluate your gift giving traditions. It is relatively painless to make a phone call or write a letter which suggests exchanging holiday cards and photos in lieu of presents. Chances are your recipients will applaud your ingenuity and gratefully jump at the chance to shave off a few layers of their own lists.

Once you have gotten your list to a manageable level it’s time to come up with a budget. I think we all start off with the best intentions when it comes to holiday shopping but somehow lose our way. The hefty accumulation of receipts tends to go unnoticed until the decorations come down and the credit card bills arrive. By planning ahead you can welcome the new year with ease and curtail the seasonal blues that often accompany overspending.

Adhering to a budget may prove exceedingly difficult this time of year with the lure of the bargain and the enticement of the sale. Retail establishments use their creative marketing strategies to draw us in and keep us shopping. When the mailbox is cluttered with catalogs I suggest taking them straight to the recycling can. Catalogs are just added temptation for things that we didn’t know we wanted in the first place. Perhaps you are one who would benefit from shopping from home. I prefer online shopping because I can Google exactly what I want with less visual temptation from other sources. Chloe, however, feels that the internet can be just as dangerous, if not more so. The key to successfully adhering to any budget is demonstrating some serious yet much needed self control.

You don’t need much restraint if you decide to make your holiday gifts rather than venture into the stores. I realize that there is a relatively small amount of the population willing to put the time or effort into homemade gifts but it is an option. There are many online tutorials available, many with step-by-step instructions and photos, that will aide you in the completion of your project. I have recently been educated in the art of tutu design and plan on making some super cute tutus for a few lucky little girls and there is no sewing required!

If homemade gifts are truly not your thing and you want to stay within budget without compromising on the gift then I suggest combining resources with others. Instead of spending a little to get that finicky adolescent in the family something that they didn’t want in the first place, you can get a group together to buy that I Pod or $100 jacket from Abercrombie. I think this is a great solution to the overinflated Holiday list; a win win situation for everyone involved.

Welcome the holidays and do not let the financial aspect overshadow what the season is truly all about. Your contribution of love and friendship should heavily outweigh any monetary gift and is ultimately more valuable.

The Tiniest Monumental Moments

gingerw — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 04:52:09 +0000

This morning I woke up to feel a small finger tracing the outline of my nose, across my eyelids, and over my mouth. A gentle breath on my face, and then a tiny whisper in my ear, “I love you mama.”

I opened my eyes to see the sweet face of my son, who then repeated, “I love you mama.”

So often in our lives, we celebrate the big moments. Weddings, graduations, the superbowl, the college championship game. These events are all monumental moments, but we tend to forget the small stuff.

The sweet words of a small child, the teenager who made their bed without asking, the wife who made a delicious dinner, the boyfriend who brought over a bar of chocolate, a brief text message saying BOO, I am thinking of you, or an unexpected phone call just to say hello.

As important as the big picture is, we need to step back, pause and appreciate all of the small moments that bring a tear to our eye, a smile to our face, our make our hearts flutter just a moment. My best memories from my childhood aren’t about major events. My best memories are baking sugar cookies with my grandma, doing the hokey pokey with my cousins, or playing disco barbies with my sister.

our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain

Rob Thomas, Little Wonders

It is always great to keep on eye on the big picture and the long term goal, but if we don’t stop and cherish the small moments, we may have missed out on the entire journey. Be it professional or personal, take a moment to celebrate the small wins in your day. It is these moments that carry us through, bring joy to our lives, and help us reach our ultimate goal.

Survival of the Fittest

estelleknows — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 15:30:28 +0000

The “survival of the fittest” is a term we’ve all heard often enough.It has been used many times and in many different contexts. But what does it mean to us on a daily basis when life is just not going our way? The ability to survive into today’s world takes a lot of guts and quite a bit of courage. The unemployment rate is slowly creeping upwards, the housing market is at a stand-still, and the divorce rate is skyrocketing. People are scared and nervous about the future.

It’s OK to be frightened; we’re human. It’s a tough time for all of us. Unfortunately it means that we will have to work harder to achieve success. Job hunting now requires some serious work. We are forced to step out of our safety zone and become more pro-active. If we want that paycheck we are just going to have to get creative and explore our hidden talents. Hey, we might even be able to add that to our resumes.

It’s amazing how hard we’ll fight for what we truly want. If your marriage is struggling for survival but you’re not ready to give up then don’t. Try going to counseling or opening the doors of communication. People are under tremendous stress and anxiety; that is enough to put a strain on the most solid of relationships, friendships included. It’s amazing how nice it is to have a shoulder to cry on.

The future may look like a tornado on the horizon but that doesn’t mean we need to run to a shelter and hide. Everyone has that special place or need which fills the gaps and makes the hard stuff not so bad. I know that if I go to the beach I will feel better. I know that being near the ocean and feeling the ebb and flow of nature will put a smile on my face.I know that I can escape in a great book.I am a reader and I believe in the healing power of the imagination; what a wonderful escape!Everyone is different and everyone has that one thing that will make everything ok. Do you love art? Go to a museum and just sit. Do you love to run? Make that time and run. Go out when the sun is peeking up and the air is crisp and clean, take it in and feel it, claim it and don’t give up. Surround yourself with happiness and amazingly it will creep into those holes and fill them. Life’s problems may still be there but you’ll have fulfillment deep inside.

We’ve got to hang on; we’ve got to survive. We can’t let the bad stuff win.